Leading Change with Relationships in Mind

A very wise former superintendent of mine once told me, “It’s all about relationships.”  Indeed, the people are what make a school successful or not.  The interactions that people have within a school make it a culture others want to be part of or want to escape.  When people decide to move on to other opportunities, the driving force is oftentimes relationships with other adults in the building that are the root cause.  Quality, positive relationships make the foundation of a strong, effective school.

As an aspiring principal, I was told repeatedly about the importance of not making any changes during my first year as a building leader.  The first year was only about building relationships and that making changes would cause distrust and ultimately lead to my leadership demise.  I would argue, however, that not acting and being reluctant to initiate positive change can also lead to failure in leadership.  Both of these situations have the potential to negatively impact future leadership opportunities, however only one has the potential to improve student outcomes. 

As the old adage goes, “there’s never a wrong time to do the right thing.”  While we may disagree about what the “right thing” is just as we might disagree about what is “best for kids”, it’s often not the message that leads to relationship issues, it’s the delivery of the message.  We must act.  We must initiate change. Most importantly, we must carefully plan how we communicate the change.

In my nearly 8 years as principal, I haven’t made everyone happy.  Not everyone has agreed with decisions I have made.  When relationships did become shaky in my school, it almost always was a result of how something was communicated, not what was communicated.  While I consistently try to always do the right thing as the old adage suggests, I recognize that I have to be thoughtful about how I go about initiating and communicating the change.  Based on my personal experiences in creating and sustaining positive relationships with colleagues, I would say,  “There’s never a wrong time to do the right thing, but you must go about it the right way.”   Just as an audience will respond to a joke more enthusiastically if it’s delivered well, a school team will respond more positively to new initiatives and change if it’s delivered in a way that is more palatable.

Relationships are not built in a day, but can easily be destroyed in a day.  Relationships are not built before the “real work” begins.  Relationships are built while you work.  They are built while you work collaboratively to improve your school.  Good, working relationships don’t cause improvement.  Effective relationships are built and sustained during improvement efforts.